Gardens Guide

Many of you who are regular visitors to this page are aware that my family's life has become about change.  Our son, Andon, is doing well in his fight against leukemia and we hope he will continue to do well throughout his life.  He has just over a year left in maintenance - a portion of treatment that requires roughly 130 chemo pills monthly, a monthly visit to the cancer clinic for intrathecal treatment and often a back poke with more treatment.  His feet are damaged by the Vincristine he takes and require special boots, which he hates to wear, his executive functioning is affected by the 6-mp, and his bones are affected by the high doses of Prednisone he takes monthly.  After all this he is an INCREDIBLY cheerful and kind child - growing into such a wonderful young man.  He will be 14 before we are done with treatment, and there have been enough scares along the way that the cancer was back and we would be back in the thick of it once more.  There have been way too many of our friends from the clinic and ICS that have relapsed and are fighting again and some who have, sorrowfully, left us.  Our life is a life of change, and it will never be one of stillness ever again.  I am grateful to have him for as long as I am able.  It is worth every moment.

After 9 months of sabbatical I returned to my Montessori classroom and was so different.  Somehow serving of Andon changed me.  I had a calmness I didn't before, and I spent the summer in a beautiful classroom with a wonderful assistant.  When it was time for Andon to return to school I became so fearful of him going into a germ filled school with a depressed immune system and being so far away.  I prayed for some way to take care of this great worry.

I was presented with the opportunity to move all of us (4 of my children and myself) to a new school that had a Montessori Early Childhood classroom as well a couple of Early Elementary classrooms.  The only catch was there was no position for Early Childhood open, only Early Elementary.  I took a leap of faith and moved into Early Elementary for the 2015 - 2016 school year.  I sometimes felt out of my depth, and overwhelmed with all the demands on me as a mother, wife, guide, trainer, and person.  I turned to the wisest people I knew for advise and help and they did help me.  Finally in February 2016 Laurie Stockton Moreno (she teaches at Brookview Montessori School in Benton Harbor, Michigan as well as instructs at Westminster College of Montessori, Utah) visited my classroom for a week and changed everything for me.  I chose to stay there and have fallen in love with Early Elementary and cherish my time with these beautiful souls.  My brain feels about 10 times larger - as well as my heart.  I used to say I didn't want to teach any older than 6 because of the change in the child, but I have such a great blessing to walk with the children through these changes and the explosion in to exploration that happens in these years.  The complexity of their young lives leaves me breathless and overwhelmed at times, as well as the heroic way in which they face their challenges and overcome what they can.  Their hearts are so good, and they strive to do so much good for each other and the larger world.  I miss the Early Childhood classroom.  I don't think I could choose a favorite - ever.  I see that working in the Elementary Classroom has solidified my understanding of the importance of the Early Childhood Classroom.

I do not know what the future holds for me and my family, but I strive and pray to have the courage to face it and take on whatever lies ahead of me.

Those who have been following this blog know that our youngest son, Andon, was recently diagnosed with and started treatment for leukemia.  Once we left the hospital, we went out and got family pictures done before things really started to change.  He has been losing his hair in clumps and decided on Monday to shave it off.  It was a very emotional experience for me.  Somehow him losing his hair has made it very real for me.  His brothers and father chose to show support for him and shaved their hair off that night as well.  Our oldest boy had about 6-8 inches of great hair that was hard for him to part with.  In the end he did it because he knew that Andon didn't want to loose his hair and he had no choice. This experience will forever change us as a family and as people.


Since last month, I have not been back to work full-time and have, in fact, only gone into work once a week since his chemotherapy started.  I have a great fill in for me at work which has made it much easier.  Dancing Moose has been an amazing support through this new challenge, as well as the parents of the children in my class this year.  I wish our family could afford for me to stay home with Andon full time until this school year is over, but at the beginning of December I will be going into work for the morning work cycle everyday except his chemo day.  This is of course subject to change according to how well he is and how he handles the chemo.  Our oldest daughter, who is 18 and graduated, has been amazing and is currently looking for a new job that will allow her to be there in the morning and work in the afternoon.

We have seen many blessings and an outpouring of love.  It has been good for me to see how many people in this world are so kind.  Our family has truly appreciated all the emails of support and concern for our sweet son.  Several visitors to this blog have emailed and asked if there is a fund set up for Andon that they can donate to.  There is now.  A parent of another childhood cancer patient told us about Go Fund Me.  Here is the Link http://www.gofundme.com/hcoh50.

On Thursday, October 16th, at about 6:00 pm, we took our 11 year old into the Instacare.  He had been pale and fatigued.  They took blood work and sent us in a big hurry up to Primary Children's Hospital; which is, so thankfully, just a 20 minute drive for us.  There they did more blood work and had the Oncologist on call come in.  She looked at his blood right there and gave us the diagnosis we were devastated was coming.  Our baby had Leukemia.  Life can change in a moment.

We left our other 4 children in the charge of my parents and aunts, and both my husband and I spent the next 5 days with him in the care of the wonderful doctors and nursing staff at Primary's.  He had Surgery on Friday to instal a port, do a bone marrow aspirate, and do a spinal tap to check for lymphoblasts in his spinal fluid and give him a dose of chemo in his spine.  We got to come home on Wednesday, and life with leukemia has started to settle in a bit.  We have weekly visits to the Cancer and Bone Marrow Clinic for chemo treatments, at least until the 2nd week in November.  We do not know what his road map will be after that yet.  It is an emotional and sometimes very difficult beginning.  He is very tired and his knees and stomach are starting to hurt from the medicines.  He is a champ!  He told me that having courage means that he is sometimes pretty scared of what he needs to do, but that he does it anyway.  Andon is certainly right.  His prognosis is good, we are so grateful for that.  We wait to hear back about the bone marrow aspirate and the chromosomal markers that will help to determine more of what his future course of treatment will be.

We have seen an outpouring of love and concern from everywhere.  On Saturday they told us that he had broken the record for the number of visitors in one day, 25!  His favorite things on earth are probably hugs.  While he was going into surgery, my sister called from California.  At the end of the conversation she told me to give a hug for him.  I said that it would be great if she and her husband were to take a picture hugging each other and email it to me so I could show it to them.  They posted it on Facebook and pretty soon a hashtag -which I don't really get- was set up for him on instagram.  That had so many visits that My sister suggested setting up a community page for him on Facebook.  It is called Hugs for Andon.  He has been getting picture hugs from all over the world and they make a yucky day better for sure.  This has become a real big deal for his oldest sister who has become an administrator on the page.  She had told me about 2 months ago that she felt her future lay in charity and service work.  She said she never feels as complete as when she is doing things that are really meaningful for others.  She has stepped up in an incredible way around the house and with the other members of the family.  Our other children are all reacting in a different way to their lives changing so quickly.

We have had meals brought in, laundry done by members of our ward and family, cleaning helpers (since the house has to be made and kept super clean), gifts, prayers of many faiths, fasting, and letters of encouragement.  It has lifted us and helped to carry us through the beginning of difficult times.